Adhyayan Suman had alleged that his former girlfriend Kangana Ranaut had hit him and she even abused his father actor Shekhar Suman at a party. Now, men’s rights activists are lauding him for opening up. It is also alleged that Kangana has stalked and harassed actor Hritkhi Roshan for quite some time. He has sent a legal notice to her for the same and approached Mumbai police.
The society expects men to shut up if they face abuse. What most people do not realise is that, they also have a son and one day the son may grow up and face abuse, only to find that there is no one standing up for him.
These double standards are quite clear as many women have started using “women’s card” in this issue to discredit Adhyayan. They are sending a signal to men that if they open up about their abuse, then they will insulted, ridiculed and portrayed as anti-women.
“Young men have to realize that many men of their age face physical abuse or stalking from girlfriends. They need to stand up for their rights as men. Otherwise, no one will help them, when they will be in deep trouble like Adhyayan Suman.” says Vivek Ganeshan of website – A Voice For Men, India.
“Young men have to blame only themselves, if they face physical abuse by their girlfriends. Because, today they do not stand up for their rights and they do not support their friends, who face abuse from their girl friends. They should understand that, if they do not give a damn about their rights, no judge or politician will work to protect them.” Says Anil Kumar, an expert on men’s issues and culture.
“It seems Kangana feels entitled to have whichever man she wishes and she is somehow presenting it as sexual liberation of women. Success seems to have increased her sense of entitlement. Talent or success are not excuses for bad behaviour towards other people.” Says Sujit Deshpande, secretary of Save Indian Family Foundation(SIFF).
Kangana expressed her shock at the turn of the events, however MRAs say is just her sense of entitlement and expectation that men will remain silent, when they face harassment or abuse.
“In India, it is often expected from men that they maintain a dignified silence, if they face abuse or violence in a relationship. The society expects men not to open up and share about the abuse. They are expected to behave as if they are strong and they feel no pain.” Says Rajesh Vakharia of SIFF.
“However, the culture is changing fast and men must keep pace with changing culture and open up if they suffer abuse from girlfriend in a relationship without bothering about what their own friends and others think. It’s up to the society to change its attitude and accept the fact that men can also face physical and psychological abuse from their partners.” he says.
Young men need to stand up for their rights
“It is estimated that about 10% of young men face physical abuse from their girlfriends and when it comes to emotional abuse or controlling behaviour, the percentages can be as high as 30%. Young men need to stand up for their rights in relationships. They should understand that no politician will talk about their issues unless they believe that they have a right to lead a life free from abuse.”, Says Vivek Ganeshan.
Parents must educate boys
“Indian parents should also educate their sons about opening up, if they face abuse, instead of expecting that somehow that men should remain strong and man up. Parents need to understand that many women today use “women’s card” to shut down men from speaking.” Says Rajesh Vakharia.
With the suicide of men topping the charts in India, it is high time that men come forward and open up with courage like Adhyayan Suman.