Dr. Avnish Jolly :Even partners, who know each other better than anyone, often fail to "join sexual congress" because they have never learned each other’s Mating Language due to many reasons. A husband, trying for a romantic dinner, reserves a sunset-view table at a fine restaurant, placed his wife’s favorite dishes, his wife, meanwhile, gets increasingly cranky and has a splitting headache by the time they get home.
The reason is simple. His mating language is visual, and hers is auditory. The restaurant was busy and noisy and their table, despite its great view, was not near to feelings.
Concept of " Mating Languages " derives from an erudite specialty within psychology known as "Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)". Most of people are more "responsive to" the world through what we see, others through what we hear, and others through what we feel or "logic" about a situation. The problem with these differences is they’re invisible. Like the wife in the restaurant, we don’t know how someone else can have such a different perception of what to us seems obvious.
We must remember that one don’t have to become an instant Mating Languages recognition expert. The romantic relationship skills will jump immediately and dramatically if you simply expect these invisible Mating Languages differences to gather up. When they do, try not to feel like your views are being attacked, but rather that your date or lover is adding a new and interesting "take" on the situation.
The Mating Languages has three types are Visual, Auditory and Feelings:
Visual – Visual men and women are conscious of their looks and are usually dressed appropriately for whatever they are doing. Watch closely when you ask them a question which requires some thought; before replying, their eyes will look up, as if they’re visualizing the answer. Visual people are often slow in expressing their emotions.
Auditory – Auditory people tend to be good communicators; they enjoy talking and can read mood in the tone of your voice. Tuned to the sounds of words, they are often quite analytical, noticing inconsistencies and preferring things clearly stated rather than implied. Before replying to any thing, their eyes will glance from right to left, like watching a match, which means they’re having a quick conversation with themselves about the answer. An auditory person can be a good match for a non-auditory person, even if they don’t immediately notice your new hairdo or that you’ve shaved your moustache. They’re more interested in the "inner you", how your mind works, and they’ll listen avidly to you telling about how your day went. Talking their language is as simple as saying, "I hear what you’re saying," instead of "I can see that," or "I feel that way, too."
Feelings – Feelings people are generally the most laid-back. They are relatively unconcerned about their appearance and love hugging, eating, and relaxing due to many reasons. Before responding to a question, their eyes will tend to look down due to ignorance, as if they’re consulting their "gut feelings" on the subject. A feelings person can be a good match for any other type. Although they tend to rank lowest on the neatness scale, they’re sensitive to your moods, nurturing and empathetic.
Now understand the Mating Language of your partner and understanding of soul also plays vital role.