By Mariela Govea* : Going to bed and enjoying ” without Knowing it” are some of the characteristics of this kind of mechanical sex, or sex exempted from memories.
Is it possible to have sex, without pleasure and without memories?
Yes, it is
And this it is not a science fiction story about the possibility of erasing memories, just only consumming some kind of protein, or, even, eating lotus flowers.
According to ancient legends, .lotus eaters, those who ate lotus flowers, forgot all about their identity, and desired nothing but… keep eating lotus flowers forever.
According to diverse scientific studies that have been conducted for many years, it is estimated that one in 10 men suffers from sexomnia. But women are not far behind, it is just, that, because of the cultural taboo that believes women are always good girls-innocent creatures or sexless, sexsomnia is more often been associated with men than women.
To clarify things , the “Sleep-Sex”,- such is, its original name,-, as a sleep disorder, is a relative of sleepwalking.
Moreover, it is much more common than one would think.
It can be mild or not: It goes from masturbation and petting, and, in some cases, it may be even a complete sexual intercourse, including penetration.
In some cases, Sexomnia, is not an isolated diagnosis and may be accompanied with other symptoms such as apnea and panic attack.
In some cases, the trigger may be the abuse of drugs and alcohol.
And, in some other situations, it is related to psychological problems, for instance, when patients are ashamed of having sex with a partner and then sexuality is repressed, – it can be brought out through this mechanism.
Also, it can be due to a neurological problem.
There are many kinds of sexsomnia and, of course, there is a medication indicated for each case.
Actually, in any of the cases mentioned above, what is clear is that, what prevails is a huge disconnection between mind and body, and this disconnection, is also evident, but not exclusively, during sleep.
In everyday ´s life, this behavior might bring some problems, If someone has a new steady partner and he or she is unaware of this situation,- as the person with Sexsomnia cannot remember or describe their actions, will feel very surprised when the next morning the patiens who suffers from Sexomnia will remember “nothing”,
As therapists, if you want, you may advise your patient to tell his or her new partner about the sleep disorder, otherwise, he or she can live the situation as as “violent” or without consensus.
Finally, there are some extreme cases such as getting to have sex with strangers while sleepwalking.
* Mariela Govea ( Buenos Aires) is Sexologist, Psychoanalist and Sexologist. She is President of Latin America Circle of Sexua Femeneity. She is writer, journalist and Columnist. Hinduist and buddhist, she is also Tantra Master.