Male Missing or Missing Male?
By Rajesh vakharia : This article is all about the conspicuous and visible absence of men in the society. When I say this, I refer to the increasing content in the media about women or only presenting the feminine side of the issue, completely ignoring the masculine side.
Before going into details, I will present here four such instances.
1. Post-award, farmer wife becomes former wife is a news item that reportedly talks about a wife being, ‘deserted’ by her husband as she traveled to collect some award for farming with male officials. The entire presentation of the article has been done entirely from the wife’s side. Article says the wife reported she wasn’t allowed to enter the home after she returned and she does not know the reason. There is no corroboration to wife’s allegations on husband and her statement has been taken as Gospel truth and the husband has been crucified publically on the front page of all editions of the DNA. It is not only a media-trial; it’s a MEDIA CONVICTION. Punishment without being heard. The question here is why is the husband’s (read male’s) version completely missing in the news? Male Missing!2. Lady-Raaj on Zee Cinema is a movie series on the Zee cinema, the popular movies channel, dedicated to ladies recognizing their contributions as house-wives. Perfectly valid and accepted. But when was the last time such a dedication made to men for their contributions? I cannot recall it. Male Missing!
3. Kiran aur Kiranein is another program coming that will be felicitating women like Sharmila Tagore, Indra Nooyi, etc. for having performed wonders in their lives, “being women”. First of all this phrase, “being women” in itself is anti-woman, anti-man and anti-human because it tacitly assumes that women are weaker than men and it is a man’s world – both of which are neither individually nor collectively true. If there are a handful of women we can count as a performer then that is not due to a perception that either women are weak or it is a man’s world. It is simply because the distribution of responsibilities across genders is uneven and men have never beenliberated from their responsibilities. In such a situation, I am failing to recall the last time men were acknowledged or felicitated for their performance or contribution to the society. Male Missing!
4. The daily soap operas that come on the television in popular channels like the Zee TV, Star Plus, Sony TV, Colors, NDTV Imagine, etc. are completely and pre-dominantly women-centric. Though I am not an avid watcher of these shows, but whenever I happen to switch to these channels, all I see is “Women-Crying”! Is it that our script writers are completely devoid of imagination that they cannot move beyond crying women or the actresses cannot do anything else other than crying? Whatever, be the reason, the mute fact remains that the daily soap operas are either completely unaware of the male side of life or are uncomfortable presenting the truth. I have not seen a single serial till date that talks of the problems of the male world or tries to connect to the male experience of things. Once again, Male Missing!
Above are just four instances where the male angle is conspicuously, obviously and visibly invisible but in reality numerous such instances can be found.
As a result of this “Male Missing” phenomenon from mainstream and concurrent media – that has a profound influence on the way a society evolves, wantedly or unwantedly – the male communication channel is completely missing. And the consequences of this absence of a proper communication channel for men is visible in many problems faced by men like reduced expressional capabilities, mutilated emotional health, skyrocketing expectations, nose-diving acceptances, abnormally high suicide rates, austere life expectancy, to name a few.
Above are serious social anomalies faced by men of today and call for a serious changed in attitudes towards men and boys from all quarters – social, economical, emotional, financial, political, legal, psychological to name a few.
If not heeded to in time, this Male Missing phenomenon will soon lead to a “Missing Male” phenomenon. Imagine a world of males (or at best non-females) without men!
1. Who will go to borders and fight for the country?
2. Who will shoo-away that monkey in village when it enters the courtyard?
3. Who will don the role of a Protector and a Provider in the family?
4. Who would be willing to be a FREE ATM MACHINE and an UNPAID BODYGUARD sans any recognition or acknowledgment?
5. Who would be ready to pay 82% taxes knowing the fact that not a single rupee of the fund is going to be utilized for his welfare?
6. Who would undertake the most risky, dangerous and menial jobs in the family?
7. Who would offer their seats to women in courts, parties and elsewhere?
8. Who would say, “after you, ma’am”?
9. Who would jump into the fire to save women and children risking his life?
10. Who would climb up the buildings risking his life to repair pipes, electric cables and broken windows?
Would there be anyone ready to take the above roles and many such more (unrecognized, unacknowledged and untalked of) if there are no men left – thanks to the “Male Missing” phenomenon predominantly present in the current society and laying the foundations of a “Missing Male” society?
It is a choice left to the society to decide upon as to what it wants – “Male Missing or Missing Male” and if neither of the above is desired, it is high time that the society starts thinking about the male world, its experiences and starts connecting to it.