By Mariela Govea* : Are you dating on line?
If you are the kind of person who visits chatrooms endelessly broken-hearted, looking for someone to date,- and to love- then, I have bad news for you.
Really sad news.
As far as I am concerned, everyone tells the success stories of people who met online, got married and lived happily ever after. But no one dares to tell the misfit stories, the bad ending stories, that might even finish in a murder or treat. There are very severe serial criminals that hide their identity as anyone can be anonymous in Internet.
It ´s simple.
A nice and brilliant girl is alone and feels lonely and hangs her photo on a dating site, and technically it ´s as though she puts an advertisement about herself. Thousands of men all over the world can have the chance to chat with her.
I know a case of a woman who “met” online an american guy who lived in the UK, but was temporarily working in Uganda, and had his son ….in Greece. This guy wanted the lady who lived in Latin America to phone him…to Uganda. I wonder if the guy really wanted to win her over, the first thing the guy asked her, was to call him to his mobile phone…. In Uganda. I wonder why the lady had to phone him: neither of them planned to settle down outside his or her country. So, what was the reason of the call for?
This is a light case, but I was told of heavier cases where everything, name, age, and even gender was false. Not to mention photographs, job position or country. Everything can be false in Internet.
I remember specially a case that a friend told me, she is a very beautiful readhead woman, sexy and intelligent. She began chatting with a man her age-they are both in the half of the life and they both seemed to be through the middle age crisis.
They lived 2000 kilometres away from each other. The man did not feel like to make the first move, that is, to travel to meet the lady .Luckily she didn ´t travel either. At the third “dating on line week”, the man began masturbating in front of the camera and asked the woman to do the same. She didn´´t accept. For many months this guy went on calling her on the phone trying to convince her to leave her own life and to move with him. She decided against it because she didn´t have any reference of this man. Later she talked with two girlfriend who work in the Justice Court as social assitants and specialize in criminal profiles, and, after receiving some information about the way criminals behave, she ended up to the conclusion this man might had wanted her as a sexual slave. I am not kidding. He gave her a lot of clues: she would be separated from her family and friends FOREVER, she would not want to come to his hometown anymore-how did he know? . and she would not have to work because he always said he had a job for her, but he was always elusive when it came to define the “kind” of work. Unfortunately in Latin America women from 15 to 50 years old dissapear daily and some of the dissapearances are highly associated with treat, human slavery and traffic of organs.
I am sad to say this but unfortunately it happens to thousand of women all around the world, also, specially when it comes to woman with very severe economic conditions and lack of familiy bonds, so no one would look after her when she disappers .
So my friend, next time, you feel lonely, you can phone an old friend, or go out with your work companions for an after-hour drink. Believe me that chatting has a very dark side, and it does not only has to do with women in danger , there are also cases of men who were kidnapped and blackmailed when they were out of their countries and couldn ´t ask for help.
So next time you are invited to any online club, or chat saloon, you might let it pass.
Surely love can find you elsewhere, in the yoga classes, at a party or even at a trip or during this holiday vacation. Happy new year to all my readers.
*Mariela Govea is Sexologist, Psychologist and Psychoanalist. She is President at Circulo Latinoamericano de Sexualidad Femenina. She is budhist, hinduist, vegetarian and Tantra Master.